WORLD WIDE DESTUCTION

the-times-masthead1Editorial review from The Times – Reports of destruction and devastation are flooding in from around Europe. Creatures, long thought to be the fabrications of superstitious minds have suddenly appeared with dire results. This Paper wishes to know – why?

Artist's rendition of one of the gargouilles incarné -- image courtesy of charcoal-almighty.deviantart.com

Artist’s rendition of one of the gargouilles incarné — image courtesy of charcoal-almighty.deviantart.com

In France, the imperial government has mobilized the Garde Nationale in an effort to protect its citizens from creatures it describes as “gargouilles incarné”. Reports from refugees confirm attacks by huge creatures with wings that resemble the famous statuary adorning the roof of Notre Dame de Paris. The beasts are said to be attacking livestock and gorging themselves on the carcasses. Rumors of similar attacks on humans are rife but, as yet, unconfirmed.

Reports of troll like creatures wreaking havoc throughout the mining areas of the German and central European states continue to filter in. It appears that several of the deeper shafts have been flooded and scores of miners who sought shelter there drowned when the beasts destroyed the sump pumps used to remove the excess ground water. The seemingly  inexplicable rampage appears to have some goal to it. Side galleries, long since abandoned are being excavated by the trolls. They seem to be searching for something and, with each fruitless effort, their savagery toward the surrounding communities increases. Gruesome tales of child abduction and slaughter abound.

Russian artistic rendition of a bukavac attacking a fisherman at night -- image courtesy of phantos.deviantart.com

Russian artistic rendition of a bukavac attacking a fisherman at night — image courtesy of phantos.deviantart.com

Further east in the Russian Empire, there are reports of ancient beasts from Slavic mythology reappearing. Fishermen on the Black Sea have been attacked by bukavacs, giant, gnarly horned creatures that crush their human prey to death. Apparently, the bukavac prefers to attack in the dead of night. Entire fishing villages have been reportedly devastated as the creatures make their way up through the Dnieper River basin. One unofficial report comes from Zaporizhia, some 300 kilometers from where the Dnieper empties into the Black Sea.

Communications with the Empire at large have been spotty. A British sailor, recovered on a raft off the coast of Iberia reported that his ship had been seized, without warning, by a giant sea creature he described as a ‘kraken’.  Mail packets, merchant men, and even Her Majesty’s warships are all rumored to be overdue. Tales of unspeakable terrors are rife along the south coast, spread by those mariners who have returned. The Prime Minister has vowed a thorough investigation into the claims.

On that front, the Prime Minister had come under increasing attack from the newer ‘Conservative’ members of Parliament as well as from the Church of England. It is believed that the Whig support for a more Nonconformist and commercial approach to questions of science and technology may be at the root of the current difficulties.  While, as yet unconfirmed, there are rumors that Charles Babbage and his team of ‘energy experimenters’ may have played some part in the appearance of these creatures and the unusual celestial events we have been witnessing. A veil of secrecy has been drawn over their activities. This has led to demands by social and religious conservatives that the entire affair be laid bare and that the nation dedicate itself to eradicating this scourge.

Imperial French Garde Nationale troops mobilized to meet the crisis -- image courtesy of shutterstock.com

Imperial French Garde Nationale troops mobilized to meet the crisis — image courtesy of shutterstock.com

As yet, no foreign governments have laid accusations of  responsibility for this terror at the doorstep of Her Britannic Majesty’s government. In what appears to be an effort to forestall such embarrassment occurring, the Prime Minister has called upon representatives of the Imperial French and Russian governments, the Austro Hungarian monarchy, and the German principalities to join with us in a unified effort to address the current world wide crisis. If successful, this grand coalition may herald a new era of peace and cooperation, providing that is, that we survive the depredations of these horrible, and as yet, unstoppable beasts who have invaded our world.

ANALYTICAL ENGINE STUNS EXPERTS

Cambridge, November 11, 1824 – Members of Parliament, the Cabinet and eminent mathematicians from throughout the realm gathered in a purpose built room at the esteemed university to attend a demonstration of Mr. Charles Babbage’s latest engine. The demonstration was held to prove the speed and accuracy of the device. The mathematicians from around the Empire were given a complex equation to solve some six months ago. Each mathematician worked on the problem, unbeknownst to his fellows and was required to record the actual time spent working on the problem. The average time recorded to solve the equation was some 76.8 hours. Mr. Babbage then fed the equation into his Analytical Engine via a stack of brass sheets, punched very much like those used in the Jacquard Loom system. Once the final card was fed into the machine, it required only 1.75 hours to solve the equation. This remarkable machine is being heralded as a tremendous achievement of British scientific knowhow. When asked about his next marvelous development, Mr. Babbage replied that he and his team of artisans and craftsmen are working on a ‘miniaturized’ version of the engine using techniques pioneered by Jaquet –Droz. His expectation is that his engines will be able to occupy a space the size of a linen press rather than the massive lecture sized room that it now requires. One would be tempted to dismiss Mr. Babbage’s aspirations were it not for his remarkable penchant for doing the seemingly impossible.

Schematic drawing of the Babbage Analytical Engine built at Cambridge. - image courtesy gregoryreher.com

Schematic drawing of the Babbage Analytical Engine built at Cambridge. – image courtesy gregoryreher.com

King Ludd leading his riotous followers against progress. - image courtesy Wikipedia.com

King Ludd leading his riotous followers against progress. – image courtesy Wikipedia.com

West Yorkshire January 6, 1825 – In a revival of the Luddite troubles of the last decade, workers in West Yorkshire and Lancashire have taken to the streets in massed protests against the government’s support for the Babbage Analytical Engine. A spokesman for the mob, calling himself King Ludd, decried the financial aid being given to move the project forward. Stating that the Analytical Engine will further displace workers and lead to further social upheaval, this King Ludd called for social reform and a suspension of government support for the engine until it’s full ramifications can be determined. Authorities in the two shires have called for Army troops to maintain order as well as putting forward emergency ordinances to impose a curfew and a ban on mass gatherings outside of normal church services.

Manchester, Lancashire – Army troops today put down rioters who broke into several manufacturing facilities in the city. Damages are being assessed. The Lord Mayor’s office reports the arrest of over 200 persons suspected of ‘machine breaking’ which remains a capital crime under the Frame Breaking and Malicious Damage Acts of 1813.

Troops called in to suppress the Luddite rioters. Martial law imposed across the North. - image courtesy of Wikipedia.com

Troops called in to suppress the Luddite rioters. Martial law imposed across the North. – image courtesy of Wikipedia.com

Louis Bonaparte, Imperial reagent for the 14 year old Napoleon II, King of Rome

Louis Bonaparte, Imperial reagent for the 14 year old Napoleon II, King of Rome

Chelmsford on Delaware, North America July 4, 1825 – In a ceremony, rich with irony, the Crown’s Viceroy for North America welcomed the Dominion of New Georgia into the Imperial fold. Chelmsford on Delaware was previously known as Philadelphia and was the first Capitol of the rebellious former colonies. It was there that the rebel leaders signed their Declaration of Independence on this day in 1776. The Viceroy, no doubt with the current troubles at home well in mind, called for letting the past assume it’s rightful place in history and urged all citizens of the Crown to look forward to a brighter common future. The recent expansion of French Imperial garrisons along the common border of the Mississippi River and especially in the city of New Orleans no doubt weighed heavily on the minds of those attending the reintegration ceremonies. Settlements along the western border of the Dominion as well as those facing French Florida are in a state of heightened anxiety over the influx of Imperial French Troops sent to the New World by the regent Louis Bonaparte, brother of the late Emperor Napoleon I.

MR. BABBAGES REMARKABLE ENGINE

Noted inventor, Charles Babbage. - image courtesy Wikipedia.com

Noted inventor, Charles Babbage. – image courtesy Wikipedia.com

London March, 23, 1816– Breaking with the Analytical Society founded by Edward Broomhead and Professor Robert Woodhouse, Mssrs. Charles Babbage, George Peacock, and Sir John Herschel have formed their own association of British Mechanical Mathematicians.  This new organization, headed by the firebrands Babbage and Peacock posits the development of a calculation engine capable of performing complex mathematical processes automatically. When pressed for details on the design of such a fantastical machine, neither man could offer any information, stating that the creation is in its earliest ‘theoretical’ stages. This has prompted wags among the mathematical, engineering, and academic circles to refer to the two young men as Cabbage[head] and Peabrain.

Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz, inventor of the Leibniz calculating wheel. - image courtesy of Wikipedia.com

Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz, inventor of the Leibniz calculating wheel. – image courtesy of Wikipedia.com

Cambridge July 14, 1818 – In a stunning demonstration put on today, Charles Babbage debuted his so called ‘difference engine’. The remarkable machine automates the calculation of mathematical processes with an accuracy that is flawless. Babbage cites the earlier work done by Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz as inspiration. As the scientific reader will know, the Leibniz Wheel calculator greatly remediated the errors to be found in calculation tables. Even the new, meticulously compiled French charts cannot seem to compete with Babbage’s mechanical ‘computer’.

Babbage has promised an even greater machine which he refers to as his analytical engine. The construction of the new engine’s components will be done by the descendants of the late Swiss master watchmaker Pierre Jaquet-Droz. The Droz family, living in London since before the turn of the century, is well known because of their mechanical marvels and intricate watches.

Drawing of Babbage's remarkable difference engine. His analytical engine is reported to be many times more complex. - image courtesy commons.wikimedia.com

Drawing of Babbage’s remarkable difference engine. His analytical engine is reported to be many times more complex. – image courtesy commons.wikimedia.com

London February 3, 1819 – News has leaked from government sources that the Chancellor of the Exchequer, with the full knowledge and support of the Crown, has been funding the construction of Babbage’s new engine. Sources tell the Times that the government considers the development of this device to be in the best interests of the Empire. A source close to the Prime Minister states that, “The realization of this invention could very well lead us into new directions in scientific and  manufacturing prominence. It would ensure that, no matter what the other crowned heads might do, Britain will be the World’s leader, as it was meant to be.” The spokesman refused comment on any military applications for the new engine. He did admit that such a device would permit more complete oceanographic knowledge which, while primarily benefiting trade, “could possibly extend to His Majesty’s Royal Navy as well.”

Mssr. Dominique François Jean Arago, head of the Académie des Sciences - image courtesy of Wikipedia.c om

Mssr. Dominique François Jean Arago, head of the Académie des Sciences – image courtesy of Wikipedia.c om

Paris February 13, 1819 – The Imperial government of Napoleon I has issued a statement dismissing the possibility of Babbage’s analytical engine ever being built. Mssr. Dominique François Jean Arago, head of the Académie des Sciences issued the statement. He and the Emperor, a member of the Académie himself, admit that, while mathematical tables may be mechanized, the development of machine logic necessary to reach beyond simple automation of tables is “improbable at best”.